{[(set: $reason to "")(set: $prologue to true)]}Hello!
This piece of software has been developed by [[HM Government->disclaimer]] as part of the Coronavirus Response.
Please use it to test whether or not you are having a legitimate business meeting.
First, are you a member of the Conservative Government?
[[Yes.->IsTory]]
[[No.->NotTory]](set: $prolouge to true)
OK, this piece of software has not been developed by any government agency and is in fact a piece of satire from playable theatre company <a href="https://www.upstart-theatre.co.uk">Upstart Theatre</a>. You rumbled us.
Please use the back button to return to the test.{[(set: $tory to true)(set: $prologue to false)]}
Great! Congratulations on being a member of our esteemed ruling classes. I am but a humble piece of software, but I tug my forelock for you.
[[Thank you. You may continue.->Check1]]{[(set: $tory to false)(set: $prologue to false)]}
Oh I'm sorry. This is going to be more difficult for you as a result.
[[Oh dear.->Check1]]Is your gathering at your place of work?
[[Yes->WasAtWork]]
[[No->NotAtWork]]
(if: $tory is true)[[[My place of work is also my home. And the home of my partner and at least some of my children.->WasAtWork]]]You have said that $reason.
Unfortunately, this is not a legitimate business meeting. Please disperse.
Disperse now.
You have been warned.
Thank you.
[[The end->Credits]]This game was created by Tom Mansfield for <a href = "https://www.upstart-theatre.co.uk">Upstart Theatre</a>.
It's a not very subtle satire of <a href = "https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/dec/19/chatting-over-cheese-and-wine-anatomy-downing-street-lockdown-gathering-picture">a gathering in the garden of 10 Downing Street in May 2020</a>.
We hope you enjoyed it - if so, why not <a href = "https://www.upstart-theatre.co.uk"> explore our website</a> and find out more about our live shows and virtual games!
Or, of course, you can [[play again->Intro]].
Please book your booster if you haven't already. You can do this, and read all about the UK coronavirus response on the <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/">NHS website</a>.
''Please share if you've enjoyed this game!''
<a href="https://twitter.com/share?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" class="twitter-share-button" data-show-count="false">Share on Twitter</a><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>OK, that's a good sign.
[[Let's move on.->WorkHours]]
(if: $tory is true)[Ah, that's OK. I bet you're meeting with some of your work colleagues, right? To discuss important things like, oh, your date with the non-executive director of your department, or how you can give contracts to sell personal protection equipment to your mate down the pub. These are questions of national importance. I tug my virtual forelock to you.
[[Quite right. Let's move on->WorkHours]] ]
(if: $tory is false)[(set: $reason to "the gathering is not taking place at your work, so how can it be work?")(go-to: "Not Legit")](if: $tory is false)[(set $reason to "the meeting is taking place outside of working hours, so we can only assume you're not working. No-one works over their hours during a pandemic.)(go-to: "Not Legit")]
(if: $tory is true)[Well, that sounds persuasive. You work long hours as part of your job fighting the coronavirus, right?
[[Let's move on.->Office Equipment]]]OK, fair enough.
[[Let's move on->Office Equipment]]Is this gathering taking place after your work hours, or during them?
[[After hours]]
[[During work hours]]
(if: $tory is true)[[[All my hours are work hours. It's office, party, networking drinks, discuss the deal over a port back at Binky's place, repeat.->During work hours]]]Is there work-related equipment at the meeting? For example any of the following:
* Computers
* Pens
* Notebooks
* A flipchart
* A printing press
* A particle accelerator
* COVID-19 vaccination kit
* A ward full of intensive care beds
* A commitment to balance the health of the country as well as the economy
[[Of course there is->Office Equipment Yes]]
[[Well, no, but there is cheese and wine->Office Equipment No]](if: $tory is false)[(set: $reason to "people who didn't need to be there are at this meeting. If they don't work with you, how can this be work?")(go-to: "Not Legit")]
(if: $tory is true)[Great! It's really important to unwind with your boss' spouse on all occassions.
[[We do have one final question actually.->Essential]]]Great! It sounds like you are doing work things, in your workplace, with work kit, during working hours. We reckon you are probably working.
[[But wait, there's one last question!->Essential]]OK, last question. Are people who don't work with you at this gathering - for example your boss' partner and/or the boss' newborn child?
[[Yep, they're both here->YesCivilians]]
[[No.->NoCivilians]]Ah good. The presence of work-related equipment implies that work is happening. You're well on the way to this being a legitimate business meeting!
[[Let's move on!->Civilians]] (if: $tory is false)[(set: $reason to "you are having cheese and wine. These things are delicious, but not normally work-related.")(go-to: "Not Legit")]
(if: $tory is true)[Great! You've really earned that cheese and wine. You've been working ever so hard, fighting that coronavirus and all that red tape. Please, give yourselves a pat on the back from me, a computer.
[[Thank you. Let's move on.->Civilians]]]So, be really honest. Is this meeting really essential?
[[Of course it is.->EssentialYes]]
[[Maybe not.->EssentialNo]]
(if: $tory is true)[[[Everything I do is essential, you stupid machine!->EssentialYes]]]Phew! That's a relief!
[[Your Result->Is Legit]](if: $tory is false)[(set: $reason to "that this meeting isn't essential. You really could have lied on that one.")(go-to: "Not Legit")]
(if: $tory is true)[Ah, well, thank you for your honesty.
[[So is this a legitimate business meeting?->Is Legit]]]We can confirm that you are having a legitimate business meeting.
Please consider making a donation to the ruling party so we can continue to do good work in your constituency.
[[The end->Credits]]{
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<div id="flag" class="flag"><img src="http://www.upstart-theatre.co.uk/britquest/assets/britflag.png" width="256" height="128"></div>
#Is It A Work Meeting?
//May 2020 edition.//</div>
(append: ?SideBar)[\
[[May 2020 COVID rules->May 2020 Rules]]]''England is in lockdown.''
By law, you may only leave your home if you have a reasonable excuse.
Work is one of these excuses "where it is not reasonably possible for that person to work... from the place where they are living".
The law does not mention socialising with colleagues.
There is also government advice that you should stay at least two metres away from anyone who wasn't part of your household, but that is not a legal requirement.
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20200515114744/https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing">Read the full (real) rules as issued by the (actual) UK government.</a>